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Friday, March 30, 2012

fobia

married or not??just read it

“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage! If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up 

Muhammad (PBUH) said: “The believers who show the most perfect faith are those who have the best disposition and the best of you are those who are best to their wives.” 
“Men are the supporters of women, because Allah has stowed on the one more than the other, and for what they have to provide (for them) from their sources. So the righteous women are obedient and protect in the absence of their husbands that which God ordains to be protected.”(Qur’an 4:34)

................................................................................

saya agak fobia dengan keadaan macam ni..i don't know..tengok orang sekeliling...mungkin saya tak pernah berkahwin,tapi..isu2 mcm ni yang membuatkan saya rasa takut dengan perkahwinan..
salah ke ada rasa takut begini??

saya selalu berdoa dan mengimpikan perkahwinan sekali seumur hidup..sentiasa dan setiap hari berdoa,selagi suamiku itu membawa aku dekat pada Pencipta (Allah),selagi tu cinta ni masih bersama..bercinta sehingga ke syurga,insyaAllah..Ameen...
saya takut dengan pergaduhan..bila bergaduh,suami mula marah2,tengking isteri..pukul2 isteri..bila isteri dah tak cantik,badan dah mula berisi,mula nak cari perempuan lain..tanggungjawab terabai..anak2 tak terjaga..saya tak dapat bayangkan bagaimana seorang perempuan melalui saat2 sukar macam ni..
apabila bercakap mengenai hak..lelaki yang entah mana kefahaman tentang agamanya,mudah saja berkata dan pertahan tentang hak2 nya..
saya selalu fikir,agak2 dieorang ni macam mana mula2 bercinta?..
bila fikir2 balik..mungkin laki ni senang sangat nak dapatkan perempuan ni,tu sbb senang nak permain..
hey.!..kalau sy adalah lelaki..sy akan jadi lelaki yg sgt protective and be gentlman..betul klu orang kata,easy come,easy go..tapi die(perempuan) adalah isteri anda...bukan gf/scandal..tittle seorang ISTERI tu sangat mulia di sisi islam..

saya pernah terbaca satu artikel islamik..tentang perkahwinan..wajar bagi seorang wanita tu nak jual mahal,garang,tegas pada laki ajnabi..
kalau dah terbiasa dengan mesej2,esok dah kahwin..dan dengan mudah pun dia boleh cari perempuan lain,dengan msej2..dah terbiasa keluar berdua,dgn mudah cri prmuan lain dengan cara macam tu....
apa pendapat anda?

so far..apa yang pernah saya lalui..seriuously..saya sangat fobia dengan sesuatu perhubungan..
grrrr...am i think too far and too ngtive?????..

i got an idea when i read an article about marriage...
just follow the rules of ISLAM...
sesungguhnya..kita tak tahu apa yang tersurat dan tersirat..apa yang terbaik..

dialog bersama hati..

saya: what about if we admire someone n just keep it as a secret..but sometimes we cannot deny it..but we cannot confess it..*istighfar*
hati : u are what you want to believe..bersabarlah..do you think by confess it,u are sure that u r for him..u have Allah..u can pray.doa..u know "doa is senjata orang muslim"..the powerful and miracle about doa..
do you think that he is the best for you?
saya: as far as i concern..he just someone that is "somebody"..
hati : are you sure??..Allah knows everything..mata yang melihat dan hati yang menilai semua baik2 saja..tp,yg tersembunyi??
saya : ..................................................

just an example

usaha doa dan tawakal..monolog dalaman dengan diri sendiri selalunya begitu..sehingga membuatkan saya jadi "mati akal" nak berbahas dengan diri sendiri..dan akhirnya..saya diam..dan serahkan segalanya pada Dia..
we do the best and Allah do the rest..

apabila baca kisah rasulullah sebagai suami..saya merasakan,betapa untungnya isteri2 baginda..
tapi,lelaki zaman sekarang..sikit2 naik angin..sikit2 nak pukul..sikit2 nak marah..itu tak kena..ini tak kena..semua nak komen..sikit2 nak kawen lain..

bagi saya,biarlah seorang perempuan tu jual mahal,ego,memilih,tegas,garang n bla2..sebab saya yakin.xde perempuan yang suka dan mengatakan.."mereka suka kahwin banyak2 kali"..saya yakin.!.xde..sebab..hati perempuan ni boleh sayang seorang dalam satu masa..jarang tengok orang perempuan yang dah kematian suami or diceraikan.then kahwin lain..jarang sangat..

bagi saya perkahwinan bukan sesuatu yang remeh temeh...there are a lot of things that u must do..kalau dulu,fikir diri seorang..skrg..fikir kita ada orang lain nk dijaga..but i believe,kalau pasangan yang berlandaskan agama..dan memahami tentang islam..insyaAllah,dua hati yang menjadi satu  akan dipermudahkan...

WE DO THE BEST,ALLAH DO THE REST..

insyaAllah..

semoga rasa takut dan fobia ini tidak menghalang sesuatu yang "halal".

Jodoh milik ALLAH, tiada lafaz cinta melainkan mendahulukan lafaz akad nikah.
yes.!..i hold this words..

i just got this picture from my tumblr..


quran..biasanya kita baca seperti biasa..sekadar baca..tapi,bila kita menilai..dan belajar..semuanya di situ..ya Al-quran.!.sebuah kitab yang punyai segalanya

not looking for a perfect man..but..sometimes..biar dia(suami) lagi "kuat" dari saya..terkadang diri ini terlupa dan asyik dgn cinta suami,dia mengingatkan diri ini supaya berzikir dan istighfar..terleka menonton kisah cinta bersamanya,dia (suami) mengingatkan diri ini supaya membaca al-quran..
don't you think this is"SWEET"..:).. you get in love with him(suami) but you are blessed with Him..you get in love with him(suami) but you get closer with Allah..!

and not even you..BUT we..both..:)


p/s: sorry if this entry like "jauhnyaaa fikir"..it just like pretty cool~
















Thursday, March 29, 2012

attention=prison


kawan : kenapa bibir kering?
aku : ????? *speechless*..

that friend is a boy..he asked me that question..then i became like "what???"..*in my heart*.speechless..u are talking to me,but sempat lg tengok tempat lain..urghh..
one thing for sure that you must know.. I DON'T LIKE ATTENTION.!.
in this situation..at MIAT..u can't deny that there are so many boys here,every single point..where ever you go.u can see BOYS..sometimes it just like a prison here.whatever you do,u must remember.."hey.!boys are watching"..sorry if it quite "perasan or what ever la kan~"..but i always remind myself.."nabilah..this is not like STA,all girls..u must remember to behave yourself..and men's eyes are more sensitive about THIS"..am i right?correct if i'm wrong..maybe..maybe not all,but mostly..kan?

entah la..maybe i am the one who is "kolot"..ketinggalan zaman..or cultural shock?yeahh..still..even it's already two years here..it's quite difficult to adapt with this situation
well,to overcome it,i just be positive..cuma,my heart still kata.."saya tak suka dengan keadaan macam ni"..

korang yang kt UIA..UITM..bla2~..mesti best kan ramai perempuan?
i wish i kat tanah arab sekarang..semua kerja dan sistem pembelajaran yang di asingkan..pretty cool~..

p/s : sorry boys..this entry doesn't mean that i hate boys...it just like "RIMAS"...




Tuesday, March 27, 2012

imperfect

somewhere we went wrong
we were so strong 

when you try your best,but you don't succeed
when you get what you want,but not what you need
when you feel so tired,but you cannot sleep
when you feel so angry,but you just can cry
when you feel love but you can't confess it

whatever that you make me feel like this,you just can deny it
it's so looser

BUT

don't just because of your "FEEL"
we forgot to say thanks to Allah
today as you wake up
being healthy
and still alive
don't you think that what ever bad thing happen today because of your fault yesterday??
because of our sins???
you don't answer the questions..BUT u ask question..WHY..WHY..WHY..
why it happens to me

love and get hurt
get hurt and learn
learn and LOVE again...YOURSELF.:)

ALLAH is the reason why even in pain
they smile
in confusion
they understand
in betrayal
they trust
in fear
they continue to fight

although you have plan,
Allah also plan,
and 
He is the best planner
don't you remember?

we ask and HE answered.!


1. KITA BERTANYA : KENAPA AKU DIUJI?


QURAN MENJAWAB:
Apakah manusia itu mengira bahawa mereka dibiarkan saja mengatakan:
Kami telah beriman(I am full of faith to Allah), sedangkan mereka tidak diuji? Dan sesungguhnya Kami telah menguji orang-orang yang sebelum mereka, maka sesungguhnya Allah mengetahui orang-orang yang benar dan, sesungguhnya Dia mengetahui orang-orang yang dusta.
-Surah Al-Ankabut ayat 2-3





2. KITA BERTANYA : KENAPA AKU TAK DAPAT APA YANG AKU IDAM-IDAMKAN?



QURAN MENJAWAB:
Boleh jadi kamu membenci sesuatu padahal ia amat baik bagimu, dan boleh jadi pula kamu menyukai sesuatu, padahal dia amat buruk bagimu, Allah mengetahui sedang kamu tidak mengetahui.
-Surah Al-Baqarah ayat 216





3. KITA BERTANYA : KENAPA UJIAN SEBERAT INI?



QURAN MENJAWAB:
Allah tidak membebani seseorang itu melainkan sesuai dengan kesanggupannya.
-Surah Al-Baqarah ayat 286





4. KITA BERTANYA : KENAPA RASA KECEWA?



QURAN MENJAWAB:
Janganlah kamu bersikap lemah, dan janganlah pula kamu bersedih hati, padahal kamulah orang-orang yang paling tinggi darjatnya, jika kamu orang-orang yang beriman.
-Surah Al-Imran ayat 139





5. KITA BERTANYA : BAGAIMANA HARUS AKU MENGHADAPINYA?



QURAN MENJAWAB:
Wahai orang-orang yang beriman! Bersabarlah kamu (menghadapi segala kesukaran dalam mengerjakan perkara-perkara yang berkebajikan) , dan kuatkanlah kesabaran kamu lebih daripada kesabaran musuh, di medan perjuangan), dan bersedialah (dengan kekuatan pertahanan di daerah-daerah sempadan) serta bertaqwalah (be fearfull of Allah The Almighty) kamu kepada Allah supaya, kamu berjaya (mencapai kemenangan).





6. KITA BERTANYA : BAGAIMANA MAHU HADAPINYA?



QURAN MENJAWAB:
Dan mintalah pertolongan (kepada Allah) dengan jalan sabar dan mengerjakan sembahyang; dan sesungguhnya sembahyang itu amatlah berat kecuali kepada orang-orang yang khusyuk.
-Surah Al-Baqarah ayat 45





7. KITA BERTANYA : APA BALASAN YANG AKU DAPAT DENGAN UJIAN INI?



QURAN MENJAWAB:
Sesungguhnya Allah telah membeli dari orang-orang mu'min, diri, harta mereka dengan memberikan syurga untuk mereka.
-Surah At-Taubah ayat 111





8. KITA BERTANYA : NAK BERHARAP KEPADA SIAPA LAGI??



QURAN MENJAWAB:
Cukuplah Allah bagiku, tidak ada Tuhan selain dari Nya. Hanya kepadaNya aku bertawakkal.
-Surah At-Taubah ayat 129





9. KITA BERKATA : DAH TAK MAMPU BERTAHAN



QURAN MENJAWAB:
..dan janganlah kamu berputus asa dari rahmat Allah. Sesungguhnya tiada berputus asa dari rahmat Allah melainkan kaum yang kafir.
-Surah Yusuf ayat 87


don't you think that ISLAM is perfect???






Sunday, March 25, 2012

the story of the hijaber

when a question and answer about hijab




Q: How do muslim women feel about the hijab(veil) ? 
I know some that some women wear it because they are forced to, but there's also other women who wear it because they want to how do most muslim women stand on this issue ? Do they want to wear it ?If yes is it about marking your difference from other people?Also, why do we see glittering hijab's nowadays?Isn't it contradictory to want to hide the women's beauty but then hide it with expensive good looking veils? 


A: When You Look At Me When You Look At Me What do you see when you look at me Do you see someone limited, or someone free All some people can do is just look and stare Simply because they can't see my hair Others think I am controlled and uneducated They think that I am limited and un-liberated They are so thankful that they are not me Because they would like to remain 'free' Well free isn't exactly the word I would've used Describing women who are cheated on and abused They think that I do not have opinions or voice They think that being hooded isn't my choice They think that the hood makes me look caged That my husband or dad are totally outraged All they can do is look at me in fear And in my eye there is a tear Not because I have been stared at or made fun of But because people are ignoring the one up above On the day of judgment they will be the fools Because they were too ashamed to play by their own rules Maybe the guys won't think I am a cutie But at least I am filled with more inner beauty See I have declined from being a guy's toy Because I won't let myself be controlled by a boy Real men are able to appreciate my mind And aren't busy looking at my behind Hooded girls are the ones really helping the Muslim cause The role that we play definitely deserves applause I will be recognized because I am smart and bright And because some people are inspired by my sight The smart ones are attracted by my tranquility In the back of their mind they wish they were me We have the strength to do what we think is right Even if it means putting up a life long fight You see we are not controlled by a mini skirt and tight shirt We are given only respect, and never treated like dirt So you see, we are the ones that are free and liberated We are not the ones that are sexually terrorized and violated We are the ones that are free and pure We're free of STD's that have no cure So when people ask you how you feel about tha hood Just sum it up by saying 'baby its all good' Written by fourteen year old Suzy Fouad i am a sunday school teacher u are to wear it to sunday school because you are going to learn about islam and in islam you have to cover your hair and wear baggy long clothes so it does not show off your body shape so out of respect girls wear in sunday school but take it off after but it would be best to keep it on and ur right about the glittery scarf you not supoosed to bring attention to ur self i wear normal dark colors or colors that dont stick out much and its not only dress wise hijab also comes with being modest lowering ur gaze not talking on a loud voice being calm but you can to still be very social but with men set boundaries becuase it not modest and your not supossed to stare directly in their eyes or no physcial touching because it can lead to thoughts bad ones and thoes thoughts come from the devil and in islam or any religion you avoid the devil in anyway 





...................... A Hijabi Muslimah And A Queen  :-  :-  :-  :-  :-  :-  



Both Are Dressed Modestly:-

A Queen Dresses Modestly Because It’s Obligation For Her To Do So.
A Hijabi Muslimah Dresses Modestly Because She Is Obeying Her Lord.

Both Have High Status :-

A Queen’s Status Is Raised The Moment She Inherits Her Title And Crown.
A Hijabi Muslimah’s Status Is Raised The Moment She Puts Her True Crown (Hijab) To Please Her Lord.


Both Should Not Shake Hands With Everyone :-

There Are Only Certain People Who Can Shake Hands With Queen.
A Hijabi Muslimah Don’t Shake Hands With Strange Men (Non Mahram).


Both Are Respected :-

They Bow Down In The Presence Of A Queen.
True Muslim Men Lower Their Gaze On The Presence Of Muslimah.


Both Are Proud :-

A Queen Is Proud With Her Bloodline.
A Hijabi Is Proud To Be A Muslimah.


Both Are Important :-

A Queen Is Important In Creatures Eyes.
A Hijabi Muslimah, As An Obedient Servant Of ALLAH, Is Important In Her.

SHARE IT ! Surely, الله Will Give The Reward For Spreading Righteousness. ♥

p/s : Penulis sejati memang menulis dirinya. Tetapi dia juga manusia… yang punya kekuatan dan kelemahan, kebaikan dan keburukan, pada hal khalayak pastinya inginkan yang baik-baik dan indah-indah sahaja. Lalu dia terus bermujahadah… menulis kebaikan sekalipun belum sepenuh dimilikinya dan dia akan “memendamkan” kejahatan dengan penuh kesedaran bahawa dia sedang berjuang untuk membuangnya. Dia ingin menghidangkan yang terbaik tanpa menjadi seorang munafik!”-ustaz pahrol.




Saturday, March 24, 2012

TERIMA KASIH

SALAM..

setiap kali mahu menulis tentang ini..saya pasti rasa takut tidak terluah..takut tidak kesampaian apa yang mahu disampaikan..takut disalah tafsir..

sejak beberapa hari ni..saya sebenarnya mempunyai masalah..inilah saya,kalau punyai masalah..lebih suka untuk mendiamkan diri dan bersendirian..tidak semua orang akan faham keadaan kita,jadi bila punyai masalah..saya lebih suka berdiam dari explain..saya pasti,tidak semua orang seperti kita..apa yang kita explain jadi salah faham..pernah tak,kita punyai masalah,pasti kita risau tentang diri kita..tapi,at the same time,kita kena explain kat orang supaya faham kita..kita sibuk nak fikir dengan masalah kita,kemudian nak fikir orang lain..jaga hati orang lain..
bukan..bukan maksud saya tak peduli perasaan orang lain..tapi,sy harap..orang lain juga akan faham keadaan kita yang perlukan masa..perlukan masa untuk bercerita..
kalau kalian punyai kawan yang ada masalah..dan dia lebih suka mendiamkan diri,jangalah paksa dia untuk bercerita dan bertanya kenapa mendiamkan diri..kalau anda seorang sahabat..anda pasti,keadaan diam berdiam diri untuk mencari masa bersama dirinya sahaja..tak perlu setiap kali dia diam,perlu tanya soalan yang sama...

bagaimana saya harus mulakan..agar entri ini menjadi ringkas dan mudah untuk difahami
saya fikir semua orang punyai pendapat berbeza..semua orang tidak akan memahami..semua punyai masalah yang berbeza..tapi,semakin lama saya menulis di blog..saya dapat ramai kawan baru..kawan2 yang RUPANYA PUNYAI PERASAAN YANG SAMA seperti saya...sungguh..saya sangat terharu dengan ayat2 kalian..motivasi bagi saya..
ada seorang hamba Allah..mengatakan.."terima kasih kerana menulis entri mcm ni..menjadi inspirasi bagi dia untuk berubah..sehinggakan dia pernah menangis dan rasa tersentuh"..u know what..saya menangis..saya menangis sebab rasa sangat terharu..rasa seolah saya tidak keseorangan dalam mujahadah ini..saya tidak keseorangan dalam di ujian ini..saya tidak keseorangan dalam melawan kesedihan...saya bersyukur sebab dapat berkongsi rasa yang sama..tangisan yang sama..kerana rupa2nya kita adalah MANUSIA..

saya mudah down dengan masalah yang selalunya menjadi sumber inspirasi saya..tapi,kemudian bila ianya pergi..saya rasa..saya tidak bermakna..contohnya,dulu saya tutup account fb saya sebab seorang hamba Allah ni..saya tutup blog..sebab dia..sebab dia saya mendiamkan diri..bersendirian..
saya mengalah...saya tidak sekuat dia..yang boleh selamba dan bersahaja depan rakan2..sedangkan saya dipinggir kawan2..
saya bangun kembali..!!..kutip satu persatu semangat saya...jatuh..bangun..menangis..merangkak dengan luka2 yang belum pulih..
saya jadi tidak tentu hala...terasa mahu berserah dan mengalah..apa nak jadi..jadilah..tapi,satu yang saya pasti..DOA..saya tak pernah tinggal untuk berdoa kepadaNya.apa pun yang terjadi..tunjukkanlah saya jalan yang benar..saya tahu..saya yakin..Dia mahu saya bersamaNya..mengharapkanNya..kerana saya hamba yang lemah.!sungguh...
walaupun ianya sudah berlalu..namun..terkadang..perasaan ini rasanya baru semalam sebegini..saya tidak pasti ianya parut ataupun luka yang saya tidak pernah perasan kerana ianya masih berbalut...rasa sakitnya masih ada..

saya tukar aktiviti harian saya..jadikan kehidupan saya lebih busy dengan perkara yang berfaedah...dekatkan diri saya kepadaNya..
saya menulis di blog..menulis untuk menyampaikan apa yang saya rasa..rasa yang bagaimana??
rasa saya..bagaimana rasanya jatuh cinta pada ISLAM..bagaimana rasanya kesedihan dalam ketenangan...semuanya tentang islam.!..
what u can get from my blog is my writing that u can't get it from my mouth..saya jarang untuk bercakap tentang perasaan melalui kata2..tapi,saya lebih suka untuk meluahkan dalam tulisan..*jiwang ke??..*..

di saat kita rasa seseorang sudah tidak peduli tentang kita..sebenarnya ada ramai lagi yang peduli tentang kita yang kita sebenarnya tak peduli..
dulu saya selalu fikir kesedihan ni satu yang sangat sukar..saya fikir bila sedih..ianya tentang putus cinta..itu saja.!
rupanya..saya terlupa di saat saya terlupa untuk berzikir padaNya..saya terlupa tentang kasih sayangNya..saya lupa tentang perjuangan rasulullah..saya terlupa yang rasulullah banyak menangis kerana umatnya..it sounds cliche??TIDAK.!..kerana itu hakikatnya..
kalau boleh,setiap hari saya nak post tentang puisi..sajak tentang perasaan sedih saya..
tapi..lama kelamaan..saya letih..saya bertanya pada diri sendiri.."terlalu banyak sedih seperti aku tidak redha dengan ketentuanNya..sedangkan..aku punyai tanggungjawab yang lebih besar sebagai hambaNya..sebagai khalifah di muka bumi ni"..

bukan mahu meminta simpati..tapi..entri kali ini saya menjawab persoalan kalian...

dengan rasa rendah diri saya minta maaf kepada kalian yang terasa kerasa saya mendiamkan diri..bukan mengendahkan..bukan tidak peduli..tapi alasan saya..berilah saya masa..

kepada mereka yang memahami ..terima kasih..tapi kepada yang tidak..saya tak salahkan kalian..kerana kita manusia yang punyai pandangan berbeza.:)..



menulis adalah dakwah??mungkin ianya di blog mereka2 yang hebat agamanya..tidak di blog saya..terlalu berat perkataan DAKWAH itu bagi saya..ianya sesuatu yang sangat berat..sedangkan saya sendiri masih memimpin diri sendiri..saya hanya berkongsi ilmu..berkongsi rasa..
kerana saya adalah hamba yang dari kelas bawahan yang tidak layak langsung untuk berdakwah...saya sama seperti kalian..kerana saya pernah yang dulu dan kini..mungkin tidak semua orang seperti saya...yang dari kecil sudah dididik pakai tudung labuh..tajwid mantap dan segalanya tentang agama anda tahu..saya manusia biasa..dan mungkin saya pernah rasa apa yang kalian rasa..terasa mahu membantu..terasa mahu beritahu..kalian tidak akan berseorangan selagi bersama agamaNya..

saya tahu..saya tidak boleh berharap dan bergantung kepada manusia..kerana manusia datang dan pergi..
saya sukar nak percaya janji manusia..saya takut kecewa..
tapi saya pasti..kata-kata dari Al-quran dan hadis itu adalah sesuatu yang benar..dan Allah tak pernah memungkiri janjiNya..ITU SAYA YAKIN DAN PASTI..
bersabarlah..
1) Kesabaran untuk membuat ketaatan
2) Kesabaran dalam menahan diri dari kemaksiatan
3) Kesabaran atas perkara-perkara yang dibenci
4) Kesabaran atas nafsu dan syahawat 

peganglah kata-kata Saidina Ali apabila kita diuji ..Jika engkau bersabar, takdir itu berlaku juga ke atas diri mu, tetapi engkau dikurniakan ganjaran pahala. Jika engkau tidak sabar pun, takdir tetap berlaku juga ke atas dirimu dan engkau berdosa 




terkadang kita terlupa..banyak sangat ketawa..banyak sangat rasa bahagia..


tersuka lagu ni..:)

mahar cinta
Andainya dapat engkau mendengarkan
Suara di hatiku melagukan rindu
Kiranya engkau mampu mentafsirkan
Setiap bait kata-kata yang terucap

Pasti dirimu kan memahami
Harapan kasih yang terbina
Sekian lama di sudut hatiku
Hanyalah untukmu

Bukanlah aku sengaja
Melindungi rasa di jiwa
Namun bimbang diri kan terleka
Hanyut dibuai angan dan mimpi indah
Hingga terabai segala cita
Sedang khayalan tak menjanjikan
Segunung kebahagiaan
Sebagai mahar hantaran

Apakah mungkin engkau mengerti
Setiap cinta yang dilafazkan
Bukanlah sekadar mainan
Tetapi sebuah janji

Andainya dapat engkau mendengarkan
Suara dihatiku melagukan rindu
Kiranya engkau bias mentafsirkan
Setiap bait kata-kata yang terungkap

Pasti dirimu dapat melihat
Rahsia kasih yang terpendam
Sekian lama di sudut hatiku
Hanyalah untukmu

Selamanya..


wasalam~

p/s : terima kasih kalian kerana masih di sini..:)